Untwist Your Thinking!

Most of us rarely take the time to notice much about our thoughts. We simply just allow them to rush through our minds as we go about our day. Some of them even become like videotapes that we constantly rewind and replay in the back of our mind.

Our thoughts become like videotapes that we constantly rewind and replay

Take my friend Michael for example. Michael is a well-paid manufacturing supervisor at a local company. He hates his job and plans to quit in the next year or so. He simply hates the responsibility of supervising people. Unfortunately, he allowed his company to promote him beyond his “happiness zone”, and since then, he’s been miserable.

The real reason Michael hates supervising others is because he cares deeply about the people he works with, and he despises the responsibility of doing performance evaluations.

Once each year he needs to “officially” evaluate the performance of each of his people. He starts dreading it about three months in advance. He labors for hours and spends many sleepless nights worrying about how to evaluate each person’s performance for the past year.

In other words, he allows his thoughts to make him miserable enough to leave his job.

If Michael would untwist his thinking a bit, he could turn this grueling job into one that’s extraordinarily rewarding.

How could Michael untwist his thinking?

Increase his awareness – First he has to stop and notice all of the negative messages that are rushing through his mind

Believe – He needs to believe in his heart that he has 100% responsibility for what he thinks

Choose thoughts that feel better -- He needs to start catching himself thinking negative thoughts and choose new thoughts that feel better

Be persistent --Twisted thinking is nothing more than a habit. He simply needs to keep choosing new thoughts until it becomes a new habit. Some say that it takes 21 days of persistence and practice to create a new habit.

Here are some examples of twisted thoughts…untwisted

Twisted thoughts

• Oh no, performance evaluations are coming up before long.
• I hope Joe isn’t going to be confrontational again this year.
• It is so hard for me to remember everything that’s happened over the last year.
• I’ll be totally exhausted by the time this is over. I think I’ll take a couple of days off to regroup.

Untwisted thoughts

• It won’t be long before I get to sit down with the team to reflect on the past year and set goals for the upcoming year.
• Joe and I have been communicating regularly this year. I don’t anticipate any surprises for either of us.
• The guys trust me to give them balanced feedback that acknowledges their contributions and coaches them to become even better next year.
• It’s going to feel good to get through this year’s evaluations. We should plan a celebration.

Michael totally has the power to transform his twisted thinking into thinking that empowers and enriches his spirit.

In essence, he could create brand new reality, one thought at a time.

What about you?
What are you struggling with?
When that situation comes up, what thoughts start racing through your mind?
Which new thoughts could you choose to make the situation feel better?

Try it! Let me know what happens.

© 2006 Lora J Adrianse

As the owner of Essential Connections, Lora Adrianse is a catalyst for clients who aspire to create dynamic business relationships with their colleagues and customers. She authors a free monthly newsletter, "Relating@Work". Go to her website at http://www.connectionscoach.com to subscribe now! Lora also writes some thought-provoking blogs: Essential Connections, Get Your Career in Gear. and her newest offering: Your Customers Matter, Don't They?.

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