Success Negotiating: How to Leave
With More Than What You Wanted

by Anne Warfield

Part One

Let's briefly run through the four main negotiating styles.

(A word of caution - use all the following information as a guideline-not as absolute truths about people. You don't want to box others in or simplify things too much.)

Connectors

The Connector is down to earth, warm, friendly and caring. Connectors are people-oriented; they want you to like them.

They usually have very open body language, are congenial, have a nicely decorated office with family photos and plants, and are neatly dressed and friendly. They will usually focus directly on you during the negotiation.

Their hot button is stability, and they get stability through personal courtesies. These people will offer you coffee, ask if the room is all right, and make certain you are comfortable during the negotiation. Atmosphere and style will be most important in connecting with this person.

Connectors often have a hard time with conflict and tend to crumble or to become very brittle when "called on the carpet." They hate to feel used or unimportant.

If you don't say hello, if you cut people off, if you become snide or pushy, you will lose in negotiations with Connectors. They want to connect with you personally. The more they like you and the better you make them feel, the more flexible they become.

To interact effectively with Connectors, be open, honest and start with some small talk. Get to know them as people. Don't try to "fast forward" to the negotiation itself. Be open when they aren't meeting your needs -- but don't be accusatory.

For example, if the price is high, be straightforward and say, "That is quite a bit more than I planned on. I realize you are a very reputable hotel and I would love to be able to work with you. What can we do together creatively to get that rate down?" Get Connectors thinking about ways to help you.

Connectors often don't tell you what they are really thinking. Since they don't like conflict, they will tend to keep strong disagreements or key points to themselves.

They will often end the conversation with a "We'll get back to you," meaning you will never hear from them again. They can often harbor a grudge if they feel you have belittled them or treated them disrespectfully.

Networkers

Networkers desire fun, excitement, and applause. They like to win arguments. They like the big picture, and they are usually not good at details.

Their office will be decorated with pictures of trips, fun events and family. They will be congenial and friendly and may spend 70% of the negotiation focusing on small talk. Over the phone, they will be chatty and make you feel connected right away. They will often jump around in their conversation with you.

Their hot button is recognition, and they get recognition by being people-oriented. They are great at networking and are usually well connected in their industry and company.

They will negotiate from their gut, and their positions will be based largely on how they feel about you. The more they like and trust you, the more flexible they will be. If you ask them to focus on too many details, or try to get them on nitty gritty points they will shut down.

Remember, Networkers like the big picture, so hit on your key points first … and then bundle your small points together.

For example: "So we are in agreement that we can get the ballroom along with 4 meeting rooms for xyz price for our event. Great. Okay, then the details of what we need for food, room set up and equipment can those be bundled in that price also? I imagine we will need ….(and here give an overview of what you need.)"

To interact effectively with Networkers, show them how this negotiation will benefit them and their company. Even when you are asking them to make tough decisions, point out why it is better to make this difficult decision now than to wait. You might say something like this:

"I realize that it may seem I am asking you for a lot. And in fact, I am. There is also a lot of value in putting this together as we have laid the project out out...

"First, it gives you guaranteed occupancy of rooms with an association that has been around for 20 years. Second, most the people attending are from large Fortune 500 companies, and this gives you marketing exposure to all of those companies without you having to spend any advertising money.

"Third, if everything goes well, I will be happy to write a recommendation letter that you can use with other prospects to show your company's skill in coordinating a large event."

Notice how many times you have emphasized why the other person is smart for wanting to secure the advantages of closing this deal. This is recognition.

Networkers like to close the deal on the spot. Remember since they are not usually good at details, they are probably not your best contact people once the negotiation is done. You want to leave with the name of the person you can contact to follow up on all the details.

Be sure to get everything in writing immediately; Networkers often change their mind and/or forget what they just agreed to.

NEXT: Part Three

PREVIOUS: Part One

As the leading Outcome Strategist, Anne Warfield shows people how to present their ideas, products and services so people want to listen to them. Her communication formula is easy to apply and produces proven results. Fortune 500 companies around the world have utilized her expertise and her work is published around the world. She speaks internationally about Outcome Focus™ Communication. To book Anne, contact her at 888-imp-9421 or email contact@impressionmanagement.com. Check out her web site at http://www.impressionmanagement.com where you can also take a communication quiz. Purchase her books at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.