Helping your children to feel good about themselves is helping them to reach great academic heights. Use these basic but effective techniques to ensure it will happen.

by Sally Goldberg, Ph.D.

Just the thought of a new school year carries with it a ring of excitement that is enticing to both young and old alike.

The idea of getting ready for that first day has a magical power all of its own. A new beginning is what holds the mystique.

"Get off on the right foot" says every parent to every child. "Begin excellent study habits, make worthwhile friendships, develop new skills, discover new abilities and talents right from the start."

Yes, school success can be enhanced from such outer guidance. However, it is inward feelings of confidence that hold the key.

Your child's strong sense of self is what will take him from his exciting first day experience right through to a year of positive growth, development, and learning. His self-esteem, plain old feeling good about himself, is what will lead him on to the highest levels achievement from day to day.

While self-esteem development is one of those concepts that is easier said than done, there are real guidelines for parents that can help make it all happen for their child.

The main building blocks are skills and abilities. These are your child's actual strengths in the four areas of development - cognitive, motor, social, and language.

To the best of your ability enrich your child's environment in all of these areas:

• Cognitive - learning.
  
• Motor - movement.
  
• Social - relationships.
  
• Language - speaking, listening, writing, and reading.

Help him learn all he can learn, do all he can do, and be all he can be. Expose him to new sports, hobbies, and places to visit.

While praise should be reserved for major achievements, go ahead and use positive comments related to holding a pencil correctly, putting in a correct puzzle piece, or properly participating in any kind of activity. That is encouragement.

Being the best has nothing to do with successful daily living. Every good try or step in the right direction contributes to genuine feelings of self-esteem.

Build on those areas with these suggested techniques:

1. Respect and appreciation

Respect your child by saying "please" when you ask him to do something. Appreciate your child by saying "thank you" for what he has done.

The way to teach your child to say "please" and "thank you" is to say "please" and "thank you" to him.

2. Uniqueness.

There is no one lese in the world just like him. Reflect as much of his originality back to him as you can.

Enjoy your opportunity to watch his destiny unfold. Guide and support his new and exciting life from your vantage point of knowledge.

3. Mistaken behavior.

Change the word "misbehavior" to "mistaken behavior." Consider mistakes of behavior an opportunity for teaching.

What do we know about mistakes? We learn from them. Be future oriented and teach your child how not to make the same mistake again.

These are the major guidelines for helping your child develop inner strength. These are the basic strategies for helping him develop positive patterns of behavior. As you follow them, you are likely to see your child work up to his own capability and treat others with dignity, respect, and honesty.

Look carefully and you will also see how nicely he will treat himself.

© Sally Goldberg

Parenting specialist Dr. Sally Goldberg turns theory and research into practical information for every parent. Acclaimed for her keynote speeches, workshops, coaching skills and radio and television appearances, she is also a prolific writer. Her popular books include Constructive Parenting, Baby and Toddler Learning Fun and Make Your Own Pre-School Games. For more parenting tips and information about Dr. Sally visit http://www.drsallyparenting.com.

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