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Focus On The Positive Aspects!
by Lora J Adrianse
I was a starry eyed, lovesick teenager when I first came across the quote, “You don’t have to love everything about another person…in order to love the other person.”
But as you can see, many, many years later the message remains a part of me, and I must say, it serves me well.
Sharon is an executive assistant I used to work with. Quite honestly, for a long time, we didn’t work very well together at all.
I thought she was in the wrong job. Whenever it was possible I’d avoid communicating with her. It seemed like it took her forever to understand things and I just didn’t have the patience to answer her endless list of questions.
One morning she came to my office and asked if we could talk for a few minutes. She’d heard that I was going through an especially difficult time in my personal life and she wanted to let me know that she cared.
Sharon’s act of kindness toward me was a wake up call. For the first time, I opened my heart to her and could see more than the assistant with the endless list of questions. Suddenly I saw a warm, thoughtful person who took the time to let me know she cared.
By shifting my focus,
I changed the relationship forever...
I created a new realityThat morning was the beginning of a friendship that I nurture to this day.
You see…Sharon didn’t do anything differently. I did. I changed my thinking.
Instead of focusing on the things that drove me crazy, I began focusing on her positive aspects. And by shifting my focus, I changed the relationship forever.
It seems too simple doesn’t it?
By simply changing my thinking I created a new reality. I no longer avoided her. I found the patience to help her understand.
And best of all, I made a new friend who I care deeply about.What could be different for you if you focused on the positive aspects of a person or a situation you find difficult?
Are you ready to take the challenge?
Take Action Challenge
My challenge to you over the next week:
- Get a sheet of paper and at the top, title it with the situation or person’s name.
- Make a list of every positive aspect you can think of.
- When you think your done, keep going. Write down even the tiniest thing you can think of.
- Now, read your list through 5 times.
- Review your list before you encounter the situation or person again.
Notice what’s changed.- Share your experience with me.
- Keep practising.
© 2006 Lora J Adrianse
As the owner of Essential Connections, Lora Adrianse is a catalyst for clients who aspire to create dynamic business relationships with their colleagues and customers. She authors a free monthly newsletter, "Relating@Work". Go to her website at http://www.connectionscoach.com to subscribe now! Lora also writes two thought-provoking blogs: Essential Connections and Get Your Career in Gear.
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