Phone Rage:
Victim or Unwitting Perpetrator?

In the business world, rudeness on the telephone has reached epidemic proportions. You know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. But occasionally, you might be one of the offenders without even realizing it. Use these tips to rage-proof your voice.

by Susan Berkley

Is it just me, or have you noticed an epidemic of telephone rudeness lately?

At best, the voice can be used as an instrument of persuasion, motivation, even seduction. At worst, it can be used as a weapon.

Consider these shocking yet true examples of sheer rudeness:

• Carla called a company inquiring about a product and was told it was out of stock. She asked how long it would be on back order and was told by an indignant rep: "How should I know? It's out of stock. What part of "out-of-stock" don't you understand?".


• Fred had some questions about a part he was trying to order. He went to the company's website but couldn't find tech support. He gave them a call. The person who answered the phone said: "To find support you type 'forward slash' support. Are you dumb, stupid or what?"


• My assistant hung up on a particularly insistent telemarketer. He called her back and said: "Are you the decision maker or just some rude #$$ who works there?"

If you are a victim of phone rage, the answer is simple. Don't put up with it. Make a complaint to the head of the company and take your business elsewhere.

When you're under stress, your tone of voice may automatically mirror your emotions

But what if you (or someone on your team) are the perpetrator?

I know. You'd never be deliberately rude. But the scary thing is, when you're under stress or in a bad mood your tone of voice will tend to automatically mirror your emotions.

And because it's hard to hear ourselves as others hear us, you'll probably have no idea that you are coming across as less than your normally pleasant professional self until you get a complaint. And it doesn't take much. Sometimes even a mild tone of condescension will be enough to send a sensitive customer elsewhere.

Feeling stressed? You'll probably sound snippy or annoyed. In a hurry? Your customers might get the idea that you are trying to brush them off.

Depressed? Your lack of enthusiasm and low vocal energy is a definite turn-off. Just had a fight? The anger you feel will be hard to conceal.

Here's how to rage-proof your voice:

1. Pause for reflection

Often the things that irritate us most in others are the things we can't stand to see in ourselves. A dose of humility is a powerful cure.

2. Mirror, mirror

Keep a mirror by the phone and glance at yourself before picking up the receiver. If the expression on your face is less than pleasant, that's what your caller will hear. Smile before you dial or say hello, even if you don't feel like it.

3. Tape yourself

The way you sound on tape is how you sound to others. Keep a cassette player on your desk and monitor your phone calls, especially during times of stress.

4. Watch your body language

Keep it relaxed. Your voice is easily affected by physical tension. Try standing if your energy is low, or sitting comfortably if you need to chill out.

5. Breathe deeply to clear your head

For breathing exercises see chapter 2 of my book Speak To Influence available online at GreatVoice.com.

6. If you're really upset, quarantine yourself

It takes 7 positive impressions to undo a negative one. Don't risk it. Let voice mail or someone else take over until you've had a chance to compose yourself.

7. Stand for self-control

I believe that venting rage, anger or irritation in the work place is never acceptable, despite what we see in the movies. If it persists it is clearly a sign of mental imbalance and must be treated accordingly. If you supervise others, monitor carefully and make it clear that such behavior will not be tolerated.

Veteran voice coach Susan Berkley of The Great Voice Company is a former radio personality and a well-known voice on TV and radio commercials and phone lines. She is the author of Speak to Influence™: How to Unlock the Hidden Power of Your Voice and numerous magazine and trade journal articles. Subscribe to Susan's informative free ezines here.

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How to End a Business Phone Call Tactfully
How to Put Warmth Into Your Phone Calls Even When You're feeling Mad