The Soft Touch of the Grandparent

by Sally Goldberg, Ph.D.

In April of 1997 Hilary Clinton held the White House Conference on Early Learning and Education.

Planned to explore the newfound information in education about the importance of the early years, it turned out to be a landmark event about the impact of time spent with children during their first three years.

The big news came from the research of Betty Hart and Todd Risley, authors of Meaningful Differences, published in 1995. Betty Risley who attended the conference explained the key parts of her study, which were directly related to early brain development.

Children exposed to nurturing and loving language end up with larger brains

She described what happens to young children who are continually exposed to nurturing and loving language like: "Come here, darling." "Please help me with this." "Thank you for carrying the basket." Functioning well, they end up having brains that are large in size and well developed.

She also told about other young children who continually experience short choppy negative communications like: "Put that away." "Stop that." "Leave me alone." Functioning poorly, they have brains that are smaller in size and not well developed.

Moreover, she pointed out, these results take place by the time children are two years of age. In addition, the effects of these early childhood experiences are irreversible.

This was the first study that had ever been done making a connection between what happens to children environmentally and the effect it has on their brain development.

Among other findings heard that day was that the neurological foundations for rational thinking, problem solving, and general reasoning appear to be largely established by age one. Spoken language was pointed out as the key.

One researcher said that the number of words an infant hears each day is the single most important predictor of later intelligence, school success and social competence. It was also clarified that this referred to live words from an attentive human being, not from the radio, TV, DVD's, or a computer.

President Clinton, in the East Room, surrounded by researchers and child care experts, compared this growing understanding of babies' intellectual and emotional growth to space exploration; and then he called it the most exciting and important exploration of all.

The president expressed how natural it was to talk to, read to, and sing to Chelsea when she was young but that he had had no idea at the time of how important it was for her development.

Talk, sing and read...

"Talk, sing songs, and read stories to nurture young children" was his advice, the very same things that grandparents do naturally with their grandchildren.

In times past when grandparents had an abundance of time to be with their grandchildren, they provided a world of conversation, singing and books. They talked to their grandchildren often as they played simple games with them and continually shared their delight over every one of their accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

They sang too, the very same songs that their parents and grandparents had sung to them. They read many books, whatever ones they had.

If the level was too high, they simplified the content. If it was too low, they embellished it with more details. They knew just how to modify their delivery to be just right for the child.

Today there is an overabundance of materials to use with young children.

There are many games to play that create fun and interesting communication. You can find CD's with every kind of music imaginable.

Children's books are available on every level from those with no words to ones with single words, to simple stories, to those that are more complex. There are even books on a beginning level that teach concepts about the planets, weather, animals, telling time, and other subjects.

Technology is terrific too. TV, DVD's, videos, and other forms of enrichment are great. In addition, the Internet is provides a wealth of leads to worthwhile child activities.

However, no matter how wonderful many of these new items are, it is comforting to know that sharing the basics with children is what provides the most meaningful time of all.

Just talking combined with old-fashioned singing and reading is what makes the difference. It is love that is behind it.

This summer, when you are talking, singing, and reading to your grandchild, take some time to think about not only what you are doing but also about the love that you are giving. Your grandchild is like a special kind of love container.

The more love you give him, the more he will take; and he will always have room for more.

© Sally Goldberg

Parenting specialist Dr. Sally Goldberg turns theory and research into practical information for every parent. Acclaimed for her keynote speeches, workshops, coaching skills and radio and television appearances, she is also a prolific writer. Her popular books include Constructive Parenting, Baby and Toddler Learning Fun and Make Your Own Pre-School Games. For more parenting tips and information about Dr. Sally visit http://www.drsallyparenting.com.

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