Family Communication Skills
and Family Meetings

Do you fear the battles that take place during family meetings. Do sarcasm, put-downs and pouting prevent harmonious and productive discussions? Yet with the right preparation, the family meetings could be an excellent tool to build a child's character. Here's a communication formula that could work wonders.

by Jean Tracy

Help With Your Defiant Child No Screaming. No Arguing. Just Respect If you've tried screaming, punishing, pleading and negotiating and your child still walks all over you, here's an easier way to get him to behave. I guarantee you'll enjoy being a parent again. Communication skills are essential if your family is going to hold family meetings. Do sarcasm, put-downs, and pouting keep you from holding family meetings? Do you want your kids to speak up, to listen, and to be respectful? Do you want them to become people of character? In his book, Character Is Destiny, Senator John McCain said, "It is your character alone, that will make your life happy or unhappy...and you choose it." Parents, if you want your children to be happy, help them to choose character. The family meeting is an excellent tool to help them make that choice. Perhaps, like other parents, you fear the battles that could occur during family meetings. Maybe you don't know how to teach your kids the skills they need. If so, this special communication formula is for you. It's as easy as one, two, three. The communication formula When you...(Be specific about a behavior.) I feel...(Name a feeling like mad, upset, and angry.) I want you to...(Give a specific positive behavior.) Use this communication formula with your kids and have them practice it with each other. Here are three examples. 1st Example (by an older sister) Victor, when you're sarcastic with me, I feel mad. I want you to talk to me in a nicer voice. 2nd Example (by a parent) Gretta, when you pout if I don't buy you a toy, I feel upset with you. I want you to take a "No" nicely and say, "OK Mom." 3rd Example (by a younger brother) Bubba, when you hit me and call me names, I feel angry. I want you to talk nicely and play fair with me. At a time outside the family meeting, talk to your kids about this special formula. Post it on the refrigerator. When one is being sarcastic use the formula. When the other is pouting use the formula. When another is using put-downs use the formula. Teach them to use the formula too. Practice! Practice! Practice! When you hold family meetings the formula will be ready to use. You won't have to worry about your kids fighting with each other because they'll have the communication skills in place to use. They'll be expressing themselves effectively and building character too. Drawing on her vast experience as educator, probation officer, social worker and private counselor, Jean Tracy, a.k.a. "Granny Jean", created KidsDiscuss.com, devoted to building character in young hearts and growing minds. Subscribe here to her free parenting newsletter Tips and Tools for Character Builders and receive 80 free family fun activities. Read about her Character Building Kit here. Some Related Articles: Family Talk Among the Generations How to Have Better Family Conversations Turning Disrespectful Kids Into Respectful Children Set Limits or Let It Ride? How to Communicate With Your Child

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