Great question. You might take some comfort in knowing that just about everybody experiences what you are experiencing.
Many people have a difficult time focusing on the person on the other end of the phone and keeping their energy level up. Congratulations for being brave enough to admit it.
Being more concerned about others than we are about ourselves should come naturally, but for most of us, it doesn't. So we have to work hard at paying attention at putting our own more pleasurable thoughts and interests aside.
The reason why was discovered by renowned psychoanalyst Dr Norberto Keppe after more than 50 years of clinical research. Keppe found that although we are healthy by nature, human beings unconsciously derive pleasure out of self-centered behavior and tend to reject the goodness that comes from affectionate contact with others.
Trust me, it's hard to accept that we are not the saints we think we should be. We try to avoid accepting this truth about ourselves and that's exhausting!
So here's my advice.
Know that a certain amount of self-centeredness is "normal" and is the default setting for most of us. Take a deep breath and try to accept this about yourself. The problem was once hidden, but now it's not and this means you can begin to make the effort to listen more carefully to others and to focus on their needs during your calls.
Paradoxically, you'll start to feel much better about yourself, have more energy and you'll notice more energy in your voice. Why? Because you're no longer exhausting yourself by fighting against seeing what you unconsciously knew to be true about yourself all along.
By the way, if you want to explore this further, I'm excited to announce that in March, Rich Jones and I will be doing a 13 week home study program based on Dr Keppe's work. For more information and to be placed on the notification list, go here.
From The VoiceCoach Newsletter by Susan Berkley. Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2008 All Rights reserved.
Susan Berkley is the author of Speak To Influence:How To Unlock The Hidden Power of Your Voice. available from your favorite bookseller. For a free subscription to The Voice Coach Newsletter visit www.speaktoinfluence.com.
Some Related Articles:
Success Secrets for Telephone Interviews
Cold Calls: Lower Energy Voice Level Works Best
Stamp Out Bad Outgoing Voicemail
Telephone Etiquette: Right Way to Make Calls
Help for a Shaky Voice
Search for further content on the topic of your choice: