Effective Communication

Have I noticed a strange new language pattern creeping
into people's speech? Yes.

Does it make the message any clearer? No

Does it annoy me? Yes, it annoys me a lot!

With these three short paragraphs, business communication coach Helen Wilkie introduces a short rant in her excellent e-newsletter Communi-keys.

Of course, she could have written: "Recently I've noticed strange new pattern creeping into people's speech. It sounds very irritating, and doesn't make the message any clearer." Direct and to the point. Doesn't that sound better to you? My guess is that it does.

But Helen, of course, doesn't need to be taught how to communicate. She was using the very style she wanted to attack in order to drive home her point.

One hears this round-about way of talking in many places today, especially from public figures, politicians, business executives and other people who are frequently interviewed in the media. When asked to elaborate on a point or provide information, instead of making a simple, straightforward statement, they phrase their message as a question and answer.

This is the result:

Do we have all the answers? No.
Do we still have a long way to go? Yes.
Are we moving in the right direction? Yes.

A silly way to speak, right? A simple, straight-forward statement would get the message across more clearly and concisely than a gimmicky mini-session of one person asking and answering his own questions.

Helen laments that the virus is spreading and she's hearing these one-person Q&A's from people in the workplace. She says she's tempted to interrupt before they answer their own question and retort: "I don't know. I thought you did!"

Sometimes, concedes Helen, the self-directed question can be useful if the person you're conversing with doesn't make his or her own question clear. You might then say: "If you're asking me if we will be expanding our product line this quarter, then the answer is no." This is obviously an attempt to clarify the subject in order to be sure you are answering the right question, and is perfectly acceptable--once.

But when a series of factual statements is turned into a list of artificial questions, it's just plain silly. Not only that, but it soon becomes irritating, and verbal irritants make for poor communication.

At all times a good rule to follow is: never say in ten words what you could just as easily say in five without loss to clarity or meaning. So use questions to get information from other people, not from yourself! Forget about the flourishes. Just say what you have to say.


For another kind of irritating habit in verbal communication that's becoming increasingly common, see here.

Labels: business communication, speaking skills

Stumble It!

We know that our two eyes are intended to be used for far more than the routine and passive viewing of objects, people and events. They play a critical and indispensable role in effective communication, building productive relationships and proving one's ability as a leader. It would be folly to underestimate the power of the eyes.

In her column on careers in the Wall Street Journal earlier this month, Joann Lublin wrote about an improvisational acting troupe in Chicago that coaches managers on how to give better presentations. The columnist reported that the participants were given "gentle pointers to help them alter their nervous habits, poor posture or soft voice. A woman too tense to look into listeners' eyes was urged to gaze at foreheads."

Senior voice coach Susan Berkley criticizes very strongly - quite correctly, in my opinion - this last piece of advice, calling it "disastrous if followed." Writing in her ezine The Voice Coach, Susan pointedly observes: "Try having a conversation with a friend or colleague while staring at her forehead. They'll think you've become possessed!"

"When a speaker fears eye contact," she continues, "it's really a symptom of a deeper problem: a rejection of affection. Phobic speakers will often say they feel shy because they are afraid the audience will reject them. This is a delusion.

"Audience members tend to be optimistic and receptive until they have reason to believe otherwise. With the exception of the occasional jerk, most audience members are eager to hear what a speaker has to say and grateful for the speaker’s contribution.

"Why, then, the fear of rejection? Psychologists call it projection. The speaker is actually rejecting the audience, before the audience has a chance to reject him or her. When we are afraid to look someone in the eyes, we are also rejecting any affection and friendship they might be trying to send our way. This process is unconscious, but it can generate feelings of guilt and even shame, causing us to avert our eyes even more."

Apart from the quality of the content of your talk itself, eye contact is undoubtedly the key factor in gaining your audience's attention and keeping it. And it's no wonder. In a very real sense, the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Is your speech or presentation a burden, a bothersome but unavoidable chore that you're secretly anxious to get over and done with the moment it's practically possible? Or do you have a sincere interest and desire to help the folk you're trying to communicate with?

You can't have it both ways. There's simply no way of faking it.

(For more well-meaning but potentially dangerous advice on speaking in public that's often dished out by so-called "experts", see here.)

Labels: business communication, speaking skills

Stumble It!