Effective Communication

Your head is spinning as you finally pull into the driveway of your home. You've had tough days in the office before, but today beats all records. And in spite of a long string of interruptions entirely beyond your control, you have to complete the project on time, even ahead of time. Or else. The alternative is not appealing to contemplate.

But now you've arrived home. Time to unwind. Haven for shattered nerves. You walk in, your wife greets you and looks you up and down, quickly perceiving your state of total physical and mental exhaustion. She says something that is intended to convey her concern and empathy.

But unfortunately, and indeed not surprisingly considering your fatigued condition, you misinterpret her comment for something disparaging and threatening. On a normal day - no big deal - all that would be needed would be a polite request for clarification. But today...today is different. Different because your reaction is so fast, so automatic. And no one is surprised more than yourself.

You yell and scream at the top of your lungs. The kids burst into tears, the dog starts howling. Your wife is paralyzed with fear, and for that matter, so are you! What happened to you? Did the neighbors hear? Did they call the police already? Not a bad job at all for a gentle, mind-mannered guy like you!

But yes, that's the havoc that stress can sometimes wreak. Stress is often the trigger that could catapult you from relative tranquility to the height of anger in many common situations, all in a matter of seconds. Which is why it's especially important to seek out and use suitable strategies to keep stress under control, before things reach the stage where it controls you! (Also to train your children to develop adequate coping mechanisms while there's still time.)

Now, it would appear, the role of stress and frustration in precipitating anger and aggression has assumed an additional, very disturbing, dimension.

The advanced technology that is part and parcel of our modern lifestyles is obviously one of its greatest blessings. Unfortunately, in many ways, it has also become a curse.

Today, we have pressed into service a mountain of electronic equipment of all shapes and sizes to house our most important records and store all kinds of priceless information, including intimate secrets. Our machines are becoming more and more complicated, which usually means, by definition, the higher the probability that something will go wrong eventually. And when it does, the consequences are becoming all the harder to bear.

The loss of a computer, cell phone or other gadget can be so jolting, says a report last month in the Washington Post, can be so jolting that it's fuelling the rise of what some psychologists are calling "computer rage." A recent survey by a researcher at the University of Maryland found that as many as one out of 10 users have hit, kicked or otherwise abused their equipment when it refuses to work or fails to perform according to the owner's expectations. "We place so much trust in computers that it gets a little scary," commented the researcher.

Interestingly, this phenomenon is said to be transforming the nature of technology service, an industry long infamous for being impersonal. It's almost as if repair teams are being called upon to serve as crisis counselors, social workers or psychologists in addition to their role as technicians.

One customer felt it was the last straw when, after experiencing six computer and two cell phone breakdowns in her household within a short period, her DVD player began to freeze every few minutes during an interesting program. "I was ready to throw everything out the window or burn them or do something violent", she confessed. Luckily, she was able to locate a computer-repair consultant who was skilled enough to calm her down.

Here again, prevention is far better than cure. And I'm talking about you, not your machine. More on this subject in an upcoming post.

Labels: emotional maturity

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