When Small Investments
Yield Big Returns

Small changes in your conversational skills can give you generous returns on the time and energy you invest to make the changes.

For a little bit of effort in breaking a habit or adding an effective skill, you can realize an large reward. You will be leveraging your effort, and your pay-off can be at least 10 to 1.

Here's an example of adding a practical skill that had a huge payoff for me. When I was in high school many years ago, I took a half-time elective class for one semester, "Personal Typing." Practicing on old mechanical Royal typewriters, we had a goal of 30 error-free words a minute. By the end of the term, I was typing about 35 wpm.

My investment of time in class was less than 40 hours, but my payoff has been at least 1000 to 1. Consider some of my lifetime payoffs:

1. I was able to type my papers in college and graduate school and improved the quality of my work and my grades as well as saving lots of money I'd have had to pay a typist.

2. I earned an elite military occupational speciality when serving in the U.S. Army and I got promoted quickly. 3. I prepared handouts and tests for students throughout 30 years of college teaching.

4. I wrote (typed) a newspaper column for 10 years for a metropolitan paper.

5. I've written hundreds of articles and many training materials.

A small investment of effort gained big returns.

The conversation skills options I'm recommending can take as few as 3 hours each to install and make your own. Then you'll have that skill to use for a lifetime.

Once installed, it's yours, just like the skill of riding a bicycle.

Top skills to install

1. Full attention listening without multi-tasking.

2. Ask open and follow-up questions. (What, How, Why questions are open. Follow-up questions seek more detail.)

3. Talk with energy and enthusiasm. Be expressive.

An excellent way to install or improve a skill is to find a person who is a good model of that skill. For example, who is the best listener you know? Observe them and then do what they do. Want to improve your golf game? Watch Tiger Woods or Annika Sorenstam.

When do you practice the skill? In everyday conversation, focus on one skill at a time. For a few days you set a goal such as attentive listening and practice in each of your interactions.

Or, choose a bad habit to eliminate:

Such as

1. "Take-aways" - grabbing the focus of attention

2. Interrupting - not letting others finish their thoughts.

3. Rambling -- going on and on at length

Habits are unconscious and automatic, which makes them hard to eliminate. Fortunately, some undesirable habits can be pushed aside by new behaviors. For example, if you give other speakers your full attention, you won't be interrupting them.

A simple method that helps break unwanted habits is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Then, when you catch yourself doing that habit, pull the rubber band and give yourself a little "sting." (Yes, this really works!) The rubber band is both a reminder and an enforcer of your desire to break the habit.

When we try to change in major ways in a short time, We are destined for failure. Our ingrained behaviors "kick back" against wholesale change

That's why I recommend one small step at a time in the direction of mastery. This is what the Japanese call kaizen - little incremental steps, each one making us better.

The options for change listed above are among the most common I observe and hear from readers. There are many other options, and you may want to start with one of your own.

Whichever one you choose to start with, make sure it can have a big payoff for you. Then you'll be encouraged to continue.

Finally, a few related wisdom quotations:

From the Tao: "It's always just the right time to begin."
Napoleon Hill: "It's always your next move."
Karen Lamb: "A year from now you may wish you had started today."

Loren Ekroth © 2007, All rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people. Contact Loren at Loren@conversation-matters.com. Check out a wealth of valuable resources and articles at http://www.conversation-matters.com and subscribe to his weekly free Better Conversations ezine (which also entitles you to two very informative reports).

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