Alice and Her Friends
in CommunicationLand

Lewis Carroll's famous classics Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass are replete with deep insights into effective communication. Embedded in the seemingly nonsensical banter of the characters, are tips and strategies that could enhance our conversation skills and interpersonal relationships.

by Robert G. Jerus

1. Why the Cheshire cat is smiling

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'

Communications engages verbal, nonverbal and auditory signals. It occurs both intentionally and accidentally. The Cheshire cat suggests that without a plan and clearly defined set of goals, any communication will be equally fruitless.

All too often, conversation engages the senses in purposeless chatter. Not only are these efforts ineffective, they are frequently disruptive and counterproductive. Focused, intentional exchanges have a purpose and predefined agenda.

2. How the Queen assessed credibility

"'There is no use trying,' said Alice; 'one can't believe impossible things.' 'I dare say you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'

By suspending judgment, listening and asking important questions, creativity expands the realms of possibility.

3. What the Queen said about memory

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards."

Memory and imagination are intertwined. Listening and hearing set the foundation for projection.

By careful attention to what has been said and through observation, perception can assign accurate meaning and apply logic to generate valid knowledge of the future.

4. How the Caterpillar used questioning to connect

"'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied rather shyly, 'I -- I hardly know, sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'"

Sometimes even the most basic of definitions may prove difficult. Problem solving and team efforts begin with mutual acceptance and common understandings.

5. How the March Hare, the Mad Hatter and the Dormouse clear up confusion

'You might just as well say, that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!' 'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, ' that 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe!"

The Mad Tea Party noted that although some things may sound similar, their meanings can be substantially different. Confusion is cleared up as language is used with care.

6. How the Duchess encouraged purposeful story telling

"'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' Said the Duchess. 'Perhaps it hasn't one.' Alice ventured to remark. 'Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.' Responded the Duchess."

Stories are powerful tools for establishing a climate and culture. They transmit group morals and values. Leaders master the power of stories.

7. What the Eaglet recommended for word selection

"'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!'"

When speaking, the objective is understanding and making meaning common. Words should be selected with the audience in mind. Connection is made thoughtfully and deliberately.

8. What the Duchess suggested regarding gossip

"'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said, in a hoarse growl, 'the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.'"

Avoiding gossip and harsh judgments serves as good advice. Without gossip, life is far easier.

9. How the Duchess suggested tapping into emotions

"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves."

Note the difference between logic and feelings. Complete messages serve to integrate thoughts from both the head and the heart. Emotional intelligences connect with the superior power feelings present.

10. What Alice noted regarding books

"'What is the use of a book', thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversations?'"

Alice notes the value in nonverbal and auditory cues. Books can miss out on these but creative, quality authors offer words as a substitute. When books are well constructed, they vividly create the images for the mind's eye through language. Words can be used for comprehensive sensory appeal.

Copyright Robert G. Jerus.

Robert G. Jerus is the Catalyst of Communication Achievement from Success Dynamics International, which empowers organizations to perform at exceptional levels by releasing the power of communication. He presents keynotes on high performance, customer service, and all aspects of communication. He can be reached at 863-420-1929, by e-mail at RJerus@SuccessDynamics.Org or by visiting his website at www.successdynamics.org.

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