Humor adds sparkle to your conversations. People like, listen to and trust people with a good sense of humor. Here are some ideas for sharpening your humor skills:

1. Analyze the humor style of the person you're engaged in conversation with.

Does he laugh? Does she tell jokes? Does he smile?

Just because your conversation partner doesn't tell jokes doesn't mean that he or she doesn't have a sense of humor. She may be a carrier of humor, rather than a creator or initiator of humor. He may be the first one to laugh at someone else's jokes.

It's also a possibility that this person may never laugh at jokes and yet appreciate and enjoy humor. Your friend may have my personality. I don't often laugh out loud, but I love humor. Everyone's humor personality is different.

2. Adding levity to your conversation is easier if you understand what makes humor tick

Humor is primarily about surprise and relationships. One of the basic principles of telling a joke is keeping the punchline and punchword disguised until the end of the joke. The punchword is the word that triggers the laugh. Ideally it should be the last word you say.

Another critical concept of humor is relationships. A piece of humor is almost always a connection of two previously unrelated thoughts.

I arrived early before a speech and noticed two signs over the exit door in the back of the room. The signs were not related, but posted one above the other. The lower sign said "Capacity 475" and the upper sign said "Restrooms"...

In my opening remarks I observed that the SIGN over the back door said "Restrooms capacity 475... I guess that means there's no waiting." It got a big laugh. Get into the habit of looking for connections and relationships.

3. Take mind vacations

To make others laugh, you have to be in a state of fun, to be relaxed. It's hard to be funny when you're stressed out.

When you're tense, you're humor tends to be negative. Sarcastic humor is the result of frustration and tension. It works against you.

Here are some ideas to keep your mind, and humor, on a higher plane:

a. Keep something that makes you laugh or smile near your phone. When you get placed on hold for thirty seconds, flip open your favorite book of humor writings or cartoons to lighten the moment.

b. Have a fun photo on your desk, something that recalls wonderful memories. Maybe you have a picture of your kids at Disney World. Maybe a picture of your last year's Halloween costume. Perhaps a photo will remind you that your dog makes you laugh. The photo will also open the door to fun-filled conversations with visitors to your office.

c. Consider breaking the pattern when you're in a stressful mood. Do something differently. If you've been with people, spend some time alone. If you've been sitting, take a walk. If you've been in a quiet environment, go someplace stimulating. If you've been indoors, step outside.

Whenever you're stressed, your body is usually telling you that you need to do something differently. You're working at keeping yourself in a humor-ready state.

d. Help design a better break room. This will provide a place for you and your co-workers to have a mind-vacation. Find some fun posters to decorate the room. Furnish the room with fun games and puzzles. Design a bulletin board for fun photos, cartoons and contests. The idea is to fill the room with fun conversation starters.

4. Volunteer to plan a party

This is a hot idea. Doing this is what led me to a career in humor.

I was in my 20s and noticed that my workgroup was always looking for volunteers to plan parties. I found two co-workers (who happened to be really funny, since I wasn't) and together, for three years, we planned and presented holiday events, roasts, retirements and going-away parties.

This hands-on party planning experience taught me the nuts and bolts of humor skills. For me it was the beginning of becoming a humor expert. And I had hours or light-hearted conversation with my two party-planning pals. Don't underestimate the value of this suggestion.

John Kinde is a humor specialist and the author of Humor Power Tips ezine. Click here for articles, humor tips and a monthly contest.

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